doublewide

S.H.I.T. Video: Milo and Otis flashback

Dudley Moore....A curious cat...and a pugged nose pup. 
A tale of friends, loyalty, and adventure... this movie doesn't really get old.
In this scene, Otis sings his marching tune searching for goddamn Milo who just had to get in the box on the dock.

I know people who think there's a ton of animal cruelty in this movie, but I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, animals taste GREAT!...and my friend Michael Vic doesn't see a problem with it, so why should I?

S.H.I.T.

The best part of waking up...

Is light sparkles in your cup.

The Verdict...The Jazz in fact are whack.

Huh?  

My name is Mr. Frightening.

The LAKERS are going to the 2nd round of the NBA Playoffs.  

The Jazz were sent home at the hands of Los Angeles for the second year in a row.  

The always classy and sometimes tasteless LA fans chanted, "UTAH SUCKS!  UTAH SUCKS!"...when the end of the game ejection/technical shit was going on.  Not to mention a really loud and pretty respectable chorus of 'Nana na-na-na...nana na-na-na...hey hey heeeeey....goood-byeeee!'

Southern California, you have represented once again.  Who's next?

Friday Tribute 4 days late...Cool movie cars that do stuff

Before there was Fast and the Furious, before Gone in 60 Seconds, and before other contemporary car movies that were undeniably cool because of their ferocious & sexy cars....there were 3 cars that tickled my fancy from my days of young.  Each gave me a car boner as only a 10 year old could have for the following vehicles:

K.I.T.T.  (Knight Industries Two Thousand).  I would sit in a recliner in my living room post elementary school styles eating a pear and drooling over a car with Mr. Feeny's voice (who also had a fantastic voice in this)  Cool stuff it could do:  talk, drive itself, jump over shit, and could put up a decent fight versus a like vintage Bond car (K.I.T.T couldn't hang with the Aston Martin).

 
Luther eat your heart out.  BOOST!

....and then there are cars that require garbage and 2.1 gigawatts to get down.  Cool stuff it can do:  time travel, run on trash, leave flamed tire tracks!
It almost looks as if the Delorean is drifting here, which would be awesome except I think most of these cars were FWD.

For being built in 1981, the Delorean still looks futuristic.

This is just funny.  (Check Doc Brown and Marty's Nike's)

...and then there's the most underrated of the three, Herbie.  I'm talking about original Herby, not goddamn Reloaded with that skinny little Lohan rat.  Herbie... with Dean Jones, Don Knotts...that old shit.  Herbie goes to Monte Carlo (1977) was my definitely my favorite little kid movie, and if you put me in front of a TV while it was on it meant a guaranteed 104 minutes of me in hysterics about a Bug who falls in love with a Lancia and then races fucking awesome cars throughout the streets of Monte Carlo.  Cool stuff he can do:  drive himself, do cool tricks, drive REALLY fast when he needed to, and have feelings.

I mean, c'mon...theives hide a friggin' diamond in the gas tank!....there's a chase scene where a giant pig on a rotating spit goes flying in the air and lands through a sunroof! What's not to love???
Not to mention Herbie was racing these cars:

De Tomaso Pantera

 

Lazer 917 GT Coupe  (The Pantera and the 917 were Herbie's main competition, and the dude driving the 917 was like a French Tom Selleck...wow)

Dino 246 GT (This rev sounded awesome in this shot)

Herbie's love....the Lancia.

I've been missing in action for the past few days.  If anyone has photos or video of me from this past weekend those are the artifacts that will give you the clues to my past.  I discovered through a camera that I had sung Michael Jackson, Usher, and the theme song from Aladdin with Kitty.  Yes...A Whole New World.  ¡Uuuuff! 

Ahem...in either case...I had too much fun this weekend, and I'm back now.  Have a Tuesday to remember.

  

Post S.H.I.T. UPDATE...Reasons why the Jazz aren't whack.

I think may have jinxed the Lake show yesterday by giving props to Carlos Boozer and Derron Williams. They must both be avid followers and read what I said about them and then got super excited and filled with self confidence and then won the game with their back to back awesome plays that proved too much for the Lakers.  Either that or they drank Space Jam water and were listening to "I Believe I can Fly" before the game.  It was probably both.   

It was inspired basketball at the end to say the least.  Boozer's dunk was hard....and Williams' shake and bake dribble drive a la Tim Hardaway left Derek Fisher peddling. 
It was an exciting game to watch..and I must give praise when it's due...especially since I dragged Utah's name through the mud so much yesterday.  Carlos Boozer, D. Williams...hats off.  Kirilenko....you're still an asshole, don't think you're getting any credit here.

BONUS* More reasons the Jazz were whack....

Shiiiiiiiiit.

Photoshop is fun...this is just funny.

Young lovers.

As a Lakers fan...it's your job to hate on the Jazz.  These days...Props Derron Williams, props Boozer...fuck you Andrei Kirilenko you Drago doppleganger.

S.H.I.T.

S.H.I.T. Thursday...Mike Jordan was pretty good at basketball.

In the spirit of the NBA Playoffs this year, I gotta pay tribute MJ. 
This one time in 1998 Michael Jordan made a shot against a chump from Utah.  Before a couple years ago I would have called any and all NBA players from Utah Jazz chumps...cause their jerseys are ugly and they didn't play exciting basketball.    I would go as far to say that my dislike of the Utah Jazz until previously....rivaled that of my notorious dislike of pineapple.  In the 90's, Utah should have been named the Pineapples...then they could have gone around sucking and tasting bad at the same time.  Karl Malone probably would have liked having a pineapple on his jersey, and then him and Greg Ostertag would have pineapple parties after games in Karl's semi truck trailer.

Ahem...anyway...MJ hit this shot on Bryan Russel (he did the year before too...haha...sucker Russell) to win the NBA championship in Game 6. He stole the ball from Karl Malone who was busy looking at John Stockton in short shorts, then crossed over BRussell. Nothin' but net. Bulls win, and Bryan Russell finds and early grave. Oh...and for the record...Jordan did NOT push off on Russell before taking that shot. Any Utah fan will tell you that, which is a bunch of crap....just like the SLC airport. I fucking hate that airport.*

*The author of this blog would like to apologize to anyone from the state of Utah that he might have offended. It's a lovely state that doesn't permit you to buy alcohol after 10pm, has more white people than a KKK gathering, has snow, and a really big salty lake as their biggest attraction. Cheers. -Doublewide

Hip Hop READ!

So I mentioned last week that my friend Russel Crowe (aka Billy aka Oh Billy) had this awesome poster of hip hop artists promoting reading.  In all its glory....I present you with, Hip Hop READ!  This is the accompaniment to Nick's Rap Snacks contribution seen earlier:

In an ideal setting, I would be eating my Bar-quin' with my HONEY Rap Snacks while perusing a book I felt motivated to read by the Hip Hop READ poster. 

Hip Hop READ! Poster courtesy of www.wraithpublishing.com/danzig

Mac vs. PC....

Just like all of you out there I've been wooed by the new PC commercial advertising campaign featuring little bastards saying they can use a computer. How clever I thought....they've actually got something there. That's funny!
"I'm a 4 year old and I'm a PC." The only thing that could have made that little Asian girl any cuter is if she was wearing Hello Kitty. Then I would have jumped out my chair, ran to Best Buy and bought a PC immediately.
Greg did make a valid point however, that if that little girl was old enough and knew better...she'd be a Mac.

Then there's the Get a PC commercials, featuring people searching for and subsequently purchasing their perfect computer...a PC. Meh. Congratulations, you've got a PC...a virus...and you don't even come with iTunes.
After being kinda dormant for a while, Apple has fired back with its new series of ads featuring Justin what's his name. This is why Apple wins! They're just so smart they can make fun of other guys.








Have a good Tuesday...ya filthy animals!

A 4/20 singer in a smokey room...

For those who know me, it's a known fact that I absolutely HATE Journey's, "Don't Stop Believing."
My hatred started years ago as a student at UCSB.  Anybody who was a Gaucho can attest that while you're a student there there are 3 (at least) guarantees:

    1.  Your apartment or house smelled of Natural Light beer after a party
    2.  You know at least three people who had (or still have) a Sierra Nevada/Bob Marley banner in their living room, or a Scarface poster in their room
    3.  You have heard 40oz. to Freedom, Legend, or "Don't Stop Believing" more times than you would care to.

So yes I heard Sublime and Bob (and Zepplin for that matter) about a million times.  None of those really got on my nerves though.  Something about goddamn Journey.....hearing it every time the Study Hall closed downtown, every time someone did karaoke at OTT...hearing a million screeching girls in a club YELLING this song...over...and over....and over... 
Somewhere along the line it lost its appeal for me.  Maybe the first 50 times it was tolerable. 
Now this song just haunts me....it follows me wherever I go.  Like a desert tumbleweed following your car around a corner, Journey will not go away. 

So it was very fitting on my birthday, that at Spinelli's there would be a 'Cast' performance of "Don't Stop Believing..." just for me.  The picture above shows all my V.I.P.'s...absolutely belting an uber inibriated version of my least favorite song ever.  Just look at the emotive and expressive faces of the singers!  Their curling mouths "ooh-ing and ahh-ing."  They really meant this one.  The only song sung with more emotion that day was John Vanion's rendition of Live's "Lightning Crashes."  Kudos John.

Happy freaking Monday...and Happy 4/20 for all you celebraters out there.